Ladies who launch.

I'm sitting on the floor in Carrie Mallon's office here in Salt Lake City. Her cat, Lulu, is purring loudly on her lap, and the sun is shining almost lazily outside while birds chatter. It's nearly June 21st, the summer solstice, and pleasant attitudes exude from everyone as we visit some cafes and walk amongst the blooming neighborhoods- summer is here.

I relish in this awareness of a sweet moment, where the two of us can share a creative space and also celebrate the fact that we worked really hard on this tarot deck. I bet anyone who reads this could use a reminder that they have acomplished something terrific with their own will, be that making a glorious dinner or earning a degree. Even watering all the plants in their fantastic garden which took hours and hours to cultivate is a task worthy of celebration. Behind most feats that take concentration, are hours of dedication, often to earning a living, yes, which in turn allows us do the things we love. I am thankful to the people in my life who have guided me and journeyed along the way, since they are huge players in my game.

In two days the deck will launch on kickstarter. I hope you'll come along with us! This deck has seen me through losing a job, living with my folks, moving to new york, and moving back to southern California- all transitions that have helped me grow into the woman I am today (Which is a woman i am proud to be!) It has taught me the value of patience, trust, enjoying my own creative imput, and the serendipitous relationships that manifest in our lives. All hail our journies to getting HERE right NOW.

I hope you enjoy this deck. Here is a video Carrie made to show the cards and how they will feel in space and time. Happy solstice and see you soon!

The Slowness of Vitality

Today's post comes from 6 weeks of slowing down and stepping away on an advenure to 4 different Euopean countries, a luxury I have and am truly grateful for. I am thankful for the flexibility of my work, and grateful for friends and family who will let me come visit and learn from them. They made this possible and I am fortunate.

I want to share what I learned so that you, in case you are feeling how I often feel when projects stack up and your stress rules your day, can step back and choose the path less taken by your efficient brain, and make the choice that's best for you NOW.

Meditation helps with this (1). Try it. I have to do it every damn day otherwise I will run amok and wiggle around trying to do everything/end up doing nothing. There is also significant science between the corrolation of a personal art practice and mental health (2). This makes sense when we think of art therapy being a viable resource to people, but you can easily have your own artistic practice and reap many benefits.

Pre Euro-trip, I was starting my day frustrated and angry, feeling like I never had enough time in my day. My shoulder hurt, by knees aches, my belly was bloated, my heart sank. I knew something was off and didn't know why. "I have a great life," I would think to myself. I never make art for myself. I worry about money. I rarely see friends. I spend way too much dough on chocolate.

During Euro-trip, I walked and walked and walked till my legs yelled. I saw inspiration on every street corner because I was actually looking up. I took the time to visit people for dinner, sit and draw people, enjoy a sandwich, facetime my Mom, devour books and enjoy looking out the window. My body came. back. to. life. I eat a little chocolate from every country I visit.

Post Euro-trip, my shoulder is starting to hurt again, but my body feels fitter and more relaxed. I am meditating and trying to walk as much as possible. I am stopping work at 4pm and going to yoga or for bike rides. I still have to remind myself to make art for myself. I go out and paint in the sunshine with some friends. I haven't eaten any chocolate so I'll buy some tonight and enjoy it with candlelight.

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There are patterns in the pre, during, and post descriptions. There are also some non-patterns, and I think those have to do with chocolate. Chocolate is not the issue. The issue is I'm aware that I must enjoy this day, take care of my body, and allow myself to do the things I enjoy. I'm working on fortifying the mind, which tends to worry and analyze, and overthink because that's all it knows how to do. I couldn't see my mental patterns before, because I was so deep in them. Travel helped me step away and run wild in a whole new environment, which automatically shakes up neuropathways and gives the brain new problems to solve. Like how does this toilet work? When does my train leave and how do I get there? What does that French word mean?

Artwork on the Millennium bridge in London. NOT graffiti because the art is on a gum wad.

The theme, I beleive, behind this method of interacting with the world, is to slow down and be present. So zen, I know. But slowing down makes it easier to catch ourselves and get out of reactive mode. When we're not constantly reacting, we can use our energy, even feel more energy, toward our creative pursuits.

If you can't travel to Europe, you can venture to a new street or take a new route and pay attention to what's around you. Find new problems to solve that mean something, that help you explore the world, not run away from it. Discover something new every day and you will come back alive in real ways.

Slowing down, looking around, paying attention to the world. For free.

We can all do this and it's free. Who's with me?

How do you like to explore within your own environment? Do you have a way of shaking things up at home? In your neighborhood? At work?

(1) https://nccih.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm “Meditation: In Depth.

(2) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2804629/ "The Connection Between Art, Healing, and Public Health: A Review of Current Literature"

Refuge oh Refuge

At least 40, probably more, slightly larger than life figures sit inside an inflatable boat, waiting for land. Some have horns, some wear ornate collars, and some look like Nefertiti. There are a clan of mythical creatures, historical figures, and nameless men and children, that are searching for hope. Constructed by thin lengths of bamboo that wrap around them in ovals upon ovals, they are fragile as well as strong. They long for space and peace, knowing that they are barely there to the eyes of others. They are hollow and subtle energetically to the western world, yet immersed in theirs you would feel the weight and distress, and crumbling flesh. This is Ai Weiwei's "Life Cycles" at the Marciano Art Center in Los Angeles.

Refuge: a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble.

A human right.

After the show, I clambered upstairs to see some hidden galleries (the place is so much bigger than it looks when you first enter). And came upon Andrea Bower's piece.

I was delighted to see this piece, because a little spark tickled me, knowing that refuge is found in art, in cultivation of good things in our lives. To seek refuge, we are seeing safety and peace. Sometimes this is external, God forbid it is, and I hope our world can work on helping everyone find safe homes, decent food, and warmth. But many people also seek internal refuge, knowing that even though they are in a warm house, their hearts are longing for a closeness to… the everything. To the joy that we all can experience, but for some reason don’t know how to just “turn on”.

I see this joy as something kids play so easily with. They run around, chasing each other and laughing their heads off. No cash required.

Sometimes, when I need refuge, I light a candle, turn on some soft music and bring out my art supplies and tarot deck. I’ll pull a card or two and let it speak to me. Usually the cards bring forward a theme that I can then work with in a small art piece. This is why I’m so excited to share the tarot deck that I’ve been working on with all of you. I find tarot, basically, art therapy. Images can help us literally SEE what’s going on for us, where talking or reading a book may not touch the abstract place that we need to view from. Of course, with all internal work, our power is within, but tarot can be such a lovely catalyst to accessing that power.

Photo by Carrie Mallon

Keep track of the tarot deck and potential release dates on instagram: @thespacioustarot !

Love,

Annie

Working on your thing

It's a constant challenge, but that's because all practices are about balance. Our art practice is no different, but it's worth the time regardless of the frustration that ensues. In fact, I'm getting use to this idea of struggle. Life is no cruise, ok? Sometimes we get to board a pretty ship and eat the breakfast buffet, other times we have to work in the kitchen and wait tables. I think it's good for us to have healthy dose of both.

Dr. Jordan Peterson- a brilliant mind- said, "Responsibility gives us purpose, and purpose gives us meaning." Ok, I'm paraphrasing this a bit, but the guts are in that notion. When I focus on the fact that my work is done in order to contribute to my peers, to children, and even support other's persuits, then I have more gumption and energy to do the work well. I am so grateful I even have the opportunity to dink around with paints and photoshop and make things! How cool is that?

And when it comes to our personal art practice, we won't have ALL the time, but we have some time, and usually some time is enough time. And sharing our own ideas is such a gift to everyone around us. It's a way of sharing our story, or true selves, and it empowers others to see parts of themselves they hadn't before.

Here's what I'm working on: The picture book is moving along and wowzas I am happy with where it's landing.

New revised spread for “Sometimes it’s Bright”.

The middle grade novel is in its final editing stages before I submit it to my agent. I am LOVING working in black and white. That is all.

Concept art for “Dream Walker”.

On another note, 2019 is the year I do scary things. One of those things was performing in a sketch show at Upright Citizen's Brigade, Lod Angeles, last weekend. The sketches were hilarious! Yes, I was nervous, but in the end, I did my best, and it was really about supporting the ensemble. Their skills helped me play my part, and my efforts and energy fed them.

What's next? Not exactly sure, but I'm thinking a writing class?!

-Annie

True Belonging, and How Art will Save Us.

Dr. Brené Brown does it again! I read her book recently, "Braving the Wilderness", which made me sob several times, so I had to read it again. More tears. But it is books like this that break you open, and I had can truly saw I had a paradigm shift.

The Wilderness = The crazy world of emotions, vulnerabilty, the unknown.

She talks a lot about major themes of the book here in this youtube video.

I recommend you listen, then read her book. You will thank yourself. Basically, the juice in this interview boils down to: you WILL have to be alone in what you're doing, but find those people that can support you. Put yourself out there in front of the people who might not support you. Don't assume the worst in everyone.

Why are we so disconnected as a civilization? My plans are to investigate this in my own life. Dr. Brown provided some literature on it, but life is meant to be experienced, so it's up to US to change things. And boy, do I want to change things. Working from home these last 2 years has given me more of this:

• flexibility
• autonomy
• anxiety
• lonliness
• confusion
• stress

...Some good things, but many gross things. Are you a freelancer? Have you experienced this? Talk to me.

The wildnerness has taught me so much, but I've only stepped in halfway. There's more.

In other news, here are some tarot cards I've been working on for the Spacious Tarot. They're coming along!!