What is a healthy ego?
When I really think about it, it seems like there's a fine line between an egotistic personality and a confident one. It's a feeble thing that separates them from each other.
If I had to guess, maybe the ego isn't even in the equation. One person has a kind of selfish confidence, and the other has a balance between self confidence and confidence that their choices will help others.
"Your artwork is so powerful that it changed my life," I say to Louise Fithugh and JK Rowling. Because of them, I do what I do. And in order to do it (write and illustrate books) I must believe that my work will do the same for others.
When I was younger, I was humble.
"Awwww, that's nice of you to say. But your artwork is so amazing!" I would say anything to get the attention off me and back onto them.
Now, I say "thanks". Now, I try and feel the feelings of...well a mixture of what my self sabotaging mind says and the joy my heart feels. It's a bittersweet combination, but I'm learning to drink it. Like kombucha.
These stories that come from me do not ask if I want them of not. They appear, elegantly and happily, unless I chain them inside. Not pretty when that happens.
Time to change from humble to confident. From embarassed to thankful. From waiting to making. From fear to joy.