February

Winter always gets me. Even when I try my hardest to work with this slower, colder season, I feel like I'm born again out of a dark hole when the end of February arrives. My body finally wakes up, my heart opens, and I'm ready to take on the days ahead. Not the case in Winter. All I want to do is sleep and hunker down under ten blankets. Maybe I'm part bear??

February has been a great month, though. I wrapped up the final watercolors on my newest picture book. I'm so happy with how they turned out! I reflected recently on my first book, "The Three Things"- did a little post about it on Instagram and sold some copies. That was delightful, knowing my story would be read to some new children. I still LOVE this book with all my heart, and there aren't many copies left. I'm a bit bummed that I won't really be able to promo it anymore. But I'll always have a few copies on hand to do a reading!

Because I have renewed energy, I want to start making things again. Things that nourish me, things that require time and some ingredients; things that require a process. My first attempt at sourdough in a while is going well. I have yet to bake a loaf but the starter is lookin' alive! I'll let you know how it goes. I've had back luck in the past but I'm optimistic this time!

I'm also finishing up some custom art pieces for the platinum kickstarter folks of The Spacious Tarot. I've been sharing the progress on Instagram and talking about why I chose certain colors. Some are for stylistic reason, and some are to convey perspective or distance.

Lots of love, everyone. Spend time with the people you love and doing some things that bring you joy.

-Annie

My Dad, me, and my twin sister at a local farm.

Seeking non-attention.

I fully disclose that I have always been seeking attention. As a child I loved to sing and wanted to be a famouse actress/artist/singer someday. Strangely, I was uncomfortable with beeing "seen" as a kiddo and I didn't know how to enjoy or deal with the attention, but I still sought it hard.

I think we all do this to an extent. We all want to be loved and adored, and we try as much as we can (sometimes unconciously) to get the recognition.

I realized this pattern recently about myself, really seeing it for the first time as a wave of cataclysmic energy in my career and love life. I am working really hard on breaking it up and step forward with the intention of doing good, honest work that I'm excited about, sharing it with confidence, and doing LESS to be up in y'all's faces. I want to match my actions with my new meaning of success, which is less about numbers, more about integrity.

We all have enough going on, don't we? I would rather be less on your radar and share things with you that bring value to your life, then try and wave my shit in your face every few minutes to make you "think of me". In fact, if you don't think me ever, that's ok, too. Although, I think you all of you and can never stifle this urge to share the human experience with anyone who is willing. I'd like to leave this world, having seen and heard and known a lot of you, not kept to myself. Hermitude forever? Nooo thanks.

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So Autumn is here, and pumpkins are magical, so Ocotber walks are delightful. I've been cutting out some major players in the foodsphere to work on my health and have been feeling really tip top. Here's a little recipe for pumpkin bread that I've made about 4 times and I LOVE everything about it. It's pretty clean, too.

For my birthday I did a little "letter writing party" and exchanged letters instead of cake-in-person. I would be happy to continue this with anyone if they so please. Letters light up my spirit! If you want my address, just send me a message via the ABOUt page.

Celebrating sisters

In a few days I will turn 33. It doesn't weird me out one bit. Not one...

Mid August, I started a painting class at my old community college in town, and as I gawk at the kids there, embarking on their educational path, I feel kind of ancient. This is silly because I'm not even in the "middle" of my life. I've just completed about a third of my life. I have so much to learn, and I'm honored to be in that class, but I guess perspective on how far I've come is also a useful tool.

That said, with 33, I'm happy to say that I've made it over a weird hump of frustration and confusion about what I'm supposed to do and how I'm supposed to live.

This I learned: THERE ARE NO RULES.

I was waiting for something spectacular to click the last 4 years. Like a kind of understanding of my sexuality, my talent, how status worked, and how to do a "good job", but no I think all that is just a ploy into buying stuff to make me think I'm doing it right and abiding by "the rules". Those magazines and their ads are so effective!

No no no, I'm always learning, trying my best, and will continue to do this. That's the only truth, and nothing will ever click except the seatbelt in my convertable of freedom that comes along with having NO IDEA what life is about. Ha!

I have a twin, by the way. She's amazing and smart and sassy, and she is a good mirror to me, showing me that there are lots of other humans going through the same things as I am, and maybe just sharing and hugging each other is all I need to do to feel sparks fly. And make art. That makes sparks fly, too.

I ALSO moved back to my hometown and I feel wildly grounded but also like a barefoot child with boundless appreciation of the oak trees and various fruit trees in my neighborhood. *I'm so happy to be home.

Tarot Deck alllll Day

It's been a while since I wrote a blog post, but that's because I've been head down, but seated, working hard on the Spacious Tarot and my new picture book. I can't talk about the picture book too much right now (I think) but I'll post a snippet of the illustrations I've been refining. Still wating on the green light to make final art but it's getting there!

You’ve seen some of it already, but here’s the illustration style of a new book in the works.

In the meantime, I have moved from OC to NorCal, closer to family. I love it. I love them.

I'm looking for more involvement with my community and finding it through regular coffee shop visits and lots of walks downtown.

Taking a painting class at the local college to get my feet wet with oil paints and explore some concepts that have been inside of me, waiting to emerge. For instance, I realize most art before the 1900s were made for men only. What do women want to see in art? What subjects, what colors. How do you want it to make you FEEL?? I'd love your thoughts on this.

And also working on another draft of my MG novel. What are you reading these days? What do your kids love to read? I need some recommendations!!

xoxox, Annie

Here’s my face saying hi, friends!!!

Spacious Process

Some have asked about how I go about illustrating the Spacious Tarot cards, so I thought I'd give an insider's look into the process. Until a month ago, I strictly used a Wacom cintiq, but I've since switched over to an ipad. I continue to work in Photoshop, however, so I recommend downloading astropad so you can work PS on your tablet.

Here's how I start. A sketch!

I love working with fake, digital pencil brushes because my heart flutters over texture. From there, Carrie and I talk about the composition and make sure it's clear what w'ere trying to communicate with each card.

Next I "ink" it and drop in basic color. I use Kyle Webster brushes, usually the "rough inker comics" brush and the "big wide softy" and "big fat spongy" thing to add a little sumin' sumin'.

As you can see, there's not a lot happening at this point, so from here I start adding darker tones and some lighter tones to create contrast.

We're getting somewhere! Once I can get here, then the rest feels like frosting a cake. I usually play with tones for a bit, but after that I add details and texture, focusing on strong lighting.

Believe it or not, this almost the finished card. After adding a couple more highlights and darker shadows to give it that "pop", I do a watercolor overlay, which ever card has, so that it feels organic and deep.

This is always where the magic happens for me. I love this particular overlay and the slight pink hue it gives to the card, bringing out the purples.

I hope you enjoyed seeing the 4 of cups in its many stages. See you soon!

-Annie