I will never get sick of the way life works, though I admit, sometimes I want to punch it in the face and run away. But still, it's amazing how everything is always changing! Always shifting, flowing, fighting, forging.
I'm in Nashville this week for work, and I feel different. I feel like new energy is coming in weather I like it or not (see what I did there?). Visiting old friends in new places makes for a very robust combination. There's so much joy in seeing your old collegue, in this case my friend Christina, and discovering her new home, in Nashville.
I love the South. It's slower, greener, loose and light. But it's also dense when it comes to setting in roots, almost like you must ground yourself here...being a floater myself, I feel like it would take some settling down in order to stay here. And I like noticing this. I like seeing where I stand in the world. And right now I'm still floating. It's all ok.
Knowing what you need and making decisions to move forward are two different things. I know I need yoga, tea, walks, friendship, family, outings, exploration, reading, warm blankets, live music. But moving forward is scary and it takes baby steps. I'm ok with this, too. I trust that taking care of myself in small ways, will lead to making the larger decisions.
Seeing my friend build her own home with an amazing man in a new place, makes me realize that I can build my environment now. We all can. Whether that's with someone else, on your own, you get to choose in this lifetime what attitude you want to live with, what your space will look like, and who you surround yourself with.
I've been known to chuck out physical treasures these days (just ask my mom), mostly because I've felt like I needed to shed my skin. Truth is, shedding the old Annie skin and trying things like going on a tour across the US, or moving to NYC, or going a Spain and France solo trip, has helped me learn about myself. But I don't think I shed an old skin, instead I formed a stronger shell. This is a helpful shell, like a snail's shell, one where I can rely on myself more and more, and feel at home in my own skin, where ever that may be.
I'm still working on this. Very much so!
And I resort to old feelings of wanting to stay close to family. It's a cycle. And Everyday I have to appreciate that life will surprise me. And in the meantime, I'll build my home, maybe with some small treasures, maybe just with some self care, one small step at a time.
Wishing you the best time with your explorations, and lots of love!