Pastels, Sightings, and Martha Graham

Hi there friends. Happy May to you! It’s been hot and windy here, after a couple weeks of rain, which is typical of May in the Ukiah Valley, but I’m still getting used to how erratic it can be here. My husband and I are putting lots of time into growing our garden, just as my body is growing this little being in my belly. I’m easily worn out, and starting to feel ALLLLL the hormones, but I’m also grateful, filled with wonder at this process, and enjoying the sunshine and fresh air of Spring.

Last weekend I got to try something new: chalk pastel drawings on pavement! I’d never tried it and… it’s harder than it looks! I signed up to be an artist for a fundraising event, and I was assigned to make a piece for the local bookstore in town (lucky me!). Other artists were out there using paintbrushes and rags- I mean, I didn’t know you were supposed to paint with chalk pastels? I just rubbed them into the sidewalk and hoped for the best. I noticed, that although it turned out great (I was very happy with it), the whole water technique helps the chalk adhere to the pavement so it doesn’t blow away or fade so quickly. I’ll have to try that next time. Toward the end I tried “painting” with the black pastel and got some nice clean lines, so that was a huge victory. Here’s how it turned out:

A couple days later, husband-man and I wanted to get out of town for the afternoon. We drove to a larger adjacent city and made our usual rounds to the second-hand bookstore, and then to the Barnes and Nobles. We passed by the large window display of books as always, to enter the store, but one of them caught my eye.

I was amazed! This was the first time I’d seen in displayed in a book store outside of my own little town, and I didn’t even ask them to put it in the window. I felt strangely proud that day. :)

As I work on this next book idea, I admit, I have lots of ups and downs in motivation. I like to remember seeing SOMETIMES IT’S BRIGHT in the window, because it helps to remember all the hard work that went into that little book and it feels totally worth it. While reading an article recently about Martha Graham, I came across a quote that landed hard.

“There is no creative satisfaction at any time,” she cried out passionately. “There is only a queer dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.” Martha Graham

No matter what, the creative process will always fill me up and tear me down. Somedays it’ll be a mountain, and other days a steep slide- both thrilling and intimidating, and the effort will wax and wane. I do love it though. It’s in my makeup and I honestly can’t help myself.

I’m in a revision stage for this new picture book. Once I have some artwork to pitch my agent, I’ll share some of the sketches and color studies! Until then,

-Annie

The March Hare Arrives!

Are you mad? Am I mad? We’re ALL mad here….. That’s my ode to Alice in Wonderland and the March Hare, but also to the madness of March. I have been prepping for an art show while also getting ready to move, and boy am I feeling loopy! To relieve some stress, however, I’ve been running Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathons. Having never watched the show before, I’m thoroughly enjoying it. I adore all the outfits and sass. Gosh, I miss the 90’s.

As much as I’d like to be in a park with all this late February sunshine, I am in my office gluing and organizing for the art show at the Library. This is a little dream of mine that’s finally come true. Since I was a kid, I LOVED looking at the art that was exhibited each month around the Napa Library. This March, I get to install my original paintings from SOMETIMES IT’S BRIGHT, the book I published last year, pretty much in time for its 1 year “book birthday”. Hooooray!

If you’re in the Napa area, please feel free to join! You can register for this event via this link. The Napa Bookmine will have books for sale at the reception, I’ll be signing copies, doing a reading, and sharing some hand painted bookmarks for those in attendance. It’ll be my FIRST in person event since this book came out during the pandemic. I look forward to sharing SOMETIMES IT’S BRIGHT and celebrating creativity with my community.

The unglamorous side of having an art show. I bought inexpensive frames (because honestly you could spend thousands of dollars on frames no joke) so I have to glue d-rings for some wires. My sounds track is Lake Street Drive, and I’m fueled by….um, no coffee these days. I’m fueled by “sheer will.”

I haven’t been able to work on my picture book dummy and paintings all month But after next week the extra art show prep work will be done-zo. I’m also moving out of this studio in April, so I’m trying to relish the time I have left here! It’s been a wonderful space to occupy for over a year. My new rental home has a studio space in the garden, and although I’m sad to leave this adorable space, I’m so grateful to move into the new studio and be able to pull some weeds on my lunch breaks.

Wishing you a wonderful March, and I’ll see you on the flip side!

Back to basics

If you've followed my posts for a while, you know that I'm always trying to get away from the internet so to speak. I did meet my husband online, so thanks world wide web!, but otherwise what was my quiet, sacred painting life pre-2013, morphed into an array of screens, text messages, and endless emails. (2013 is the year I got a smart phone). The internet also opened up work opportunities for me, so I am grateful for that, but my body would say differently. It would remark- "whaddaya doing here? I was having fun and you made it all stressy."

Even when I was young I had a similar impulse about the net. I recall my mom getting AOL for us when I was about 10 years old. I was enamored by the Nikelodeon chatroom. a/s/l? I met cyber bullies and super sexual beings that pretended to be all kinds of ages and genders. It was the wild west and I quickly found that it was a little too wild for me. My intuition set off an alarm. My sister got into building web pages, but I went back to wandering around outside on my bike.

I had adventures though, and I found inspiration outside. I have good memories from this time. I watched people, took notes, found hidden trails, made picnics, did painting projects, and sang songs to myself. I enjoyed my chidhood, and I guess we're all here, trying to live a life we enjoy. So I look back to that time and what I used to do, as a roadmap for getting from technical chaos to inner peace.

This new year, I am going to do that thing that lots of minimalist people do, so it's not special. I'm quitting social media. I will still send out newletters and write blog posts, two things I used to do more of and really enjoyed, but stopped when social media seems to be more "efficient".

I'm also establishing my scared painting practice, and a sacred writing practice, which means to me that I must be quiet and not aim to produce anything in principle. I am wokring on some new books, and hopefully they will see the light of day, but they deserve to be cooked in my creative writing womb for a while, methinks?

This impulsive but necesary move was inspired by a few things- Cal Newport's book, Digital Minimalism, which I read severals months ago but at that time I didn't have the guts to step away from tech enough to be with myself. I was also inspired by Flow, by Csikszentmihalyi, which I read several years ago almost entirely at the gym. Both of these books talk about the importance of undistracted, concentrated time, where we can find our depths of creativity and delight. I've had a hard time finding this as podcasts are so easy to pop on while I work, text messages flood in, and emails never stop. My bad habits are too easy to foster, hence my attempt to break their spell once more.

Lastly, I was influenced by a women's circle, which creates a sacred space for everyone involved. I've found this to be an exptrememly healing presence in my life, and I can't help but want more of this undistracted, sacred time.

But, what is sacred? A friend told me that nothing is sacred anymore, but I don't beleive that. I think the sacred is created upon will, and it is a place of full presence with yourself and the divine. It's accessible to everyone. I would like to see more "sacred spaces" rather than "safe spaces". I don't think sacred has to be pretty, or religious, or even fun. But it can be sexy, delicious, midevil, and liberating. I'm aiming to transition into sacred time with my screens and learn how to love them in a new way. But first...

...Back to basics.