Energy of Creation

The last weeks I had some HUGE dips in energy and a hormonal wave that took my by surprise. Hello, pregnancy! After talking to some herbalists and my midwives, they suggested some supplements to help me out and they worked almost instantly. Now I’m back to feeling pretty good, but I do need that afternoon nap here and there!

While experiencing my energy drain out of me last week, I made this painting about pregnancy.

It feels like a universe is forming inside of me- something I don’t yet understand. I’m more in touch with my female body than I have EVER experienced before but I still have no idea what’s going on.

Flowers look different to me and fruit carries a new meaning. I think of the Empress card different (in the traditional RWS deck and the Spacious Tarot). I also sense that my energy is poured simultaneously into my womb, and also out to the cosmic spiritual energy around me. I really do feel like a vessel- slightly out of control but eager to be here. I’m here to keep up with it all and find all the ways to nourish this little baby as it forms and gets ready to be a part of this world.

So, you’re probably realizing that I’m having a major spiritual experience with this pregnancy, right? Um…just a little. ;) I’m constantly blown away. My husband recently showed me images of the universe from the new Webb telescope. Not only is the telescope awe inspiring, but the images that it’s picking up from space is moving my soul deeply. It’s sublime! All those galaxies! How small we are, yet how complex. How vast the universe is (as we see it) and how complex. My mind cannot do anything with this information except for feel so much love and awe. Same with this child that’s growing every day in my womb, without me having ever done it before. My body KNOWS how to do it. The universe KNOWS.

I’ll end my awkward ode to Creation there. Lots of love,

Annie

Pastels, Sightings, and Martha Graham

Hi there friends. Happy May to you! It’s been hot and windy here, after a couple weeks of rain, which is typical of May in the Ukiah Valley, but I’m still getting used to how erratic it can be here. My husband and I are putting lots of time into growing our garden, just as my body is growing this little being in my belly. I’m easily worn out, and starting to feel ALLLLL the hormones, but I’m also grateful, filled with wonder at this process, and enjoying the sunshine and fresh air of Spring.

Last weekend I got to try something new: chalk pastel drawings on pavement! I’d never tried it and… it’s harder than it looks! I signed up to be an artist for a fundraising event, and I was assigned to make a piece for the local bookstore in town (lucky me!). Other artists were out there using paintbrushes and rags- I mean, I didn’t know you were supposed to paint with chalk pastels? I just rubbed them into the sidewalk and hoped for the best. I noticed, that although it turned out great (I was very happy with it), the whole water technique helps the chalk adhere to the pavement so it doesn’t blow away or fade so quickly. I’ll have to try that next time. Toward the end I tried “painting” with the black pastel and got some nice clean lines, so that was a huge victory. Here’s how it turned out:

A couple days later, husband-man and I wanted to get out of town for the afternoon. We drove to a larger adjacent city and made our usual rounds to the second-hand bookstore, and then to the Barnes and Nobles. We passed by the large window display of books as always, to enter the store, but one of them caught my eye.

I was amazed! This was the first time I’d seen in displayed in a book store outside of my own little town, and I didn’t even ask them to put it in the window. I felt strangely proud that day. :)

As I work on this next book idea, I admit, I have lots of ups and downs in motivation. I like to remember seeing SOMETIMES IT’S BRIGHT in the window, because it helps to remember all the hard work that went into that little book and it feels totally worth it. While reading an article recently about Martha Graham, I came across a quote that landed hard.

“There is no creative satisfaction at any time,” she cried out passionately. “There is only a queer dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.” Martha Graham

No matter what, the creative process will always fill me up and tear me down. Somedays it’ll be a mountain, and other days a steep slide- both thrilling and intimidating, and the effort will wax and wane. I do love it though. It’s in my makeup and I honestly can’t help myself.

I’m in a revision stage for this new picture book. Once I have some artwork to pitch my agent, I’ll share some of the sketches and color studies! Until then,

-Annie

The March Hare Arrives!

Are you mad? Am I mad? We’re ALL mad here….. That’s my ode to Alice in Wonderland and the March Hare, but also to the madness of March. I have been prepping for an art show while also getting ready to move, and boy am I feeling loopy! To relieve some stress, however, I’ve been running Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathons. Having never watched the show before, I’m thoroughly enjoying it. I adore all the outfits and sass. Gosh, I miss the 90’s.

As much as I’d like to be in a park with all this late February sunshine, I am in my office gluing and organizing for the art show at the Library. This is a little dream of mine that’s finally come true. Since I was a kid, I LOVED looking at the art that was exhibited each month around the Napa Library. This March, I get to install my original paintings from SOMETIMES IT’S BRIGHT, the book I published last year, pretty much in time for its 1 year “book birthday”. Hooooray!

If you’re in the Napa area, please feel free to join! You can register for this event via this link. The Napa Bookmine will have books for sale at the reception, I’ll be signing copies, doing a reading, and sharing some hand painted bookmarks for those in attendance. It’ll be my FIRST in person event since this book came out during the pandemic. I look forward to sharing SOMETIMES IT’S BRIGHT and celebrating creativity with my community.

The unglamorous side of having an art show. I bought inexpensive frames (because honestly you could spend thousands of dollars on frames no joke) so I have to glue d-rings for some wires. My sounds track is Lake Street Drive, and I’m fueled by….um, no coffee these days. I’m fueled by “sheer will.”

I haven’t been able to work on my picture book dummy and paintings all month But after next week the extra art show prep work will be done-zo. I’m also moving out of this studio in April, so I’m trying to relish the time I have left here! It’s been a wonderful space to occupy for over a year. My new rental home has a studio space in the garden, and although I’m sad to leave this adorable space, I’m so grateful to move into the new studio and be able to pull some weeds on my lunch breaks.

Wishing you a wonderful March, and I’ll see you on the flip side!