July 2022: True Quiet

Although 2022 has felt like a quiet year to me, this last month ramped up real fast, and I lost my balance a bit. Pregnancy has made me very sensitive to pace, to sugar, caffeine, and to my output. Since feeling better during my second trimester, I guess I got a little carried away with all of these things and turned the dial up, playing with fire. So this month I want to focus and explore q u i e t.

Quieting down, turning the dials back to low, letting things simmer and taking a step back….

First, I will invite anyone who reads this to take a few deep, slow breaths. Our nervous systems can use it! It’s amazing what a short pause can do, along with some deep inhales and exhales. How often do we stop and breathe?

And the phone. The emails. The calls and appointments! On top of work meetings, we have to fit in hair appointments, doctors appointments, kids classes, etc. Although it’s wonderful to be involved to “stay on top of things”, it’s helpful to remember that we don’t have to do it all. We just don’t. Sometimes it’s completely ok to take an afternoon off and hang out on the couch, doing quiet things.

I found this article about focusing and reducing distractions, and is actually really great. I’m surprised I found it on the American Express website, a website that promotes being in debt- haha! But the list reflects a very simple regimen of turning things off, taking a step away from the work, and engaging in more play.

PLAY

Play is defined by the Cambridge dictionary as “doing an activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.” Now, I’m not sure if you play much, but I know I don’t. I just started going to the community pool a couple times a week for some exercise, but I try and allow myself to feel the coolness of the water and tune out the rest of my agenda that day. I really enjoy swimming and even though it’s exercise, it feels more like play than most other things I’m doing lately. Why is this? Is it because it’s active? Because it’s sensuous? Because I literally cannot hold a phone in the water??

I think play has a way of cycling in spaciousness to our psyche so that we can experience stillness. It’s almost as if the play acts as a stimulant, washing clean the ever-talking mind, so that when we relax after play, we truly feel the quiet.

TURN it off

The other point I really like from the list is about Turning Off Distractions. For me, my distractions are all tech related. I do not have any kids (just yet) and I do not work in a busy office. My distractions are self perpetuated because I keep my phone on. But what if I didn’t? And what if I didn’t surf the web for a week?

This article is inspiring- try turning off your phone for an entire week. How would that fair? I’d have to let my family know, but otherwise, I think it might work out ok. One could always check their messages once a day (maybe via their laptop) just to stay on top of important news, but otherwise, be free child! Go play and be well. Get off the damn phone- says Annie to herself. I do long for this.

Once the phone is off, however, the boredom sets in. For a while now, everyone has gotten used to being on their phones, having it near them, checking messages or even sending one to a friend. It’s like an itch that longs to be scratched, when we turn off our phones. I imagine that once we get over the withdraws, the spaciousness sets in and we can seek true enjoyment. I’ve never considered myself addicted to my phone, but I honestly think we all are. It’s such a huge part of our lives, that it’s very strange to live without it for longer than an afternoon. Do I dare attempt this week long shut off? Do I dare go screen free for seven days, including TV and web surfing??

Taking a step back

Lastly, choosing to stop and do something else, can really help us find focus/quiet/peace. For me, this is often a walk, a few stretches, or dancing to a couple of my favorite tunes. It’s always movement for me. The stress builds and I get irritable when I keep my butt stuck in a chair for too long.

What do you do to get quiet, and I mean to reallllly find that spaciousness? Can you go a week without your phone? Do you already do this? How do you play and how often do you do it? I’d love to know, since I’m a bit of a work-a-holic over here.

What’s new:

• I’ve been working with local Libraries to pick up a copy of SOMETIMES IT’S BRIGHT. If you don’t mind requesting this title form your library, it would be a huge help!

• The new Expansion pack will launch next week! Carrie and I are so excited, after months of delays and printing kerfuffles. The time has come!

• I am working on a new picture book about a sweet but eccentric girl who gets sick on performance day. More about this soon, but I’m having fun in my sketchbook, playing with colors and an illustration style.

• I added some designs to my storefront. Hope you enjoy!

The new Expansion pack to the Spacious Tarot

Development for a new picture book- testing colors and illustration style.

Some products I’ve been designing for funsies.

Connecting with local Libraries and bookstores to share SOMETIMES IT’S BRIGHT.

Energy of Creation

The last weeks I had some HUGE dips in energy and a hormonal wave that took my by surprise. Hello, pregnancy! After talking to some herbalists and my midwives, they suggested some supplements to help me out and they worked almost instantly. Now I’m back to feeling pretty good, but I do need that afternoon nap here and there!

While experiencing my energy drain out of me last week, I made this painting about pregnancy.

It feels like a universe is forming inside of me- something I don’t yet understand. I’m more in touch with my female body than I have EVER experienced before but I still have no idea what’s going on.

Flowers look different to me and fruit carries a new meaning. I think of the Empress card different (in the traditional RWS deck and the Spacious Tarot). I also sense that my energy is poured simultaneously into my womb, and also out to the cosmic spiritual energy around me. I really do feel like a vessel- slightly out of control but eager to be here. I’m here to keep up with it all and find all the ways to nourish this little baby as it forms and gets ready to be a part of this world.

So, you’re probably realizing that I’m having a major spiritual experience with this pregnancy, right? Um…just a little. ;) I’m constantly blown away. My husband recently showed me images of the universe from the new Webb telescope. Not only is the telescope awe inspiring, but the images that it’s picking up from space is moving my soul deeply. It’s sublime! All those galaxies! How small we are, yet how complex. How vast the universe is (as we see it) and how complex. My mind cannot do anything with this information except for feel so much love and awe. Same with this child that’s growing every day in my womb, without me having ever done it before. My body KNOWS how to do it. The universe KNOWS.

I’ll end my awkward ode to Creation there. Lots of love,

Annie

Pastels, Sightings, and Martha Graham

Hi there friends. Happy May to you! It’s been hot and windy here, after a couple weeks of rain, which is typical of May in the Ukiah Valley, but I’m still getting used to how erratic it can be here. My husband and I are putting lots of time into growing our garden, just as my body is growing this little being in my belly. I’m easily worn out, and starting to feel ALLLLL the hormones, but I’m also grateful, filled with wonder at this process, and enjoying the sunshine and fresh air of Spring.

Last weekend I got to try something new: chalk pastel drawings on pavement! I’d never tried it and… it’s harder than it looks! I signed up to be an artist for a fundraising event, and I was assigned to make a piece for the local bookstore in town (lucky me!). Other artists were out there using paintbrushes and rags- I mean, I didn’t know you were supposed to paint with chalk pastels? I just rubbed them into the sidewalk and hoped for the best. I noticed, that although it turned out great (I was very happy with it), the whole water technique helps the chalk adhere to the pavement so it doesn’t blow away or fade so quickly. I’ll have to try that next time. Toward the end I tried “painting” with the black pastel and got some nice clean lines, so that was a huge victory. Here’s how it turned out:

A couple days later, husband-man and I wanted to get out of town for the afternoon. We drove to a larger adjacent city and made our usual rounds to the second-hand bookstore, and then to the Barnes and Nobles. We passed by the large window display of books as always, to enter the store, but one of them caught my eye.

I was amazed! This was the first time I’d seen in displayed in a book store outside of my own little town, and I didn’t even ask them to put it in the window. I felt strangely proud that day. :)

As I work on this next book idea, I admit, I have lots of ups and downs in motivation. I like to remember seeing SOMETIMES IT’S BRIGHT in the window, because it helps to remember all the hard work that went into that little book and it feels totally worth it. While reading an article recently about Martha Graham, I came across a quote that landed hard.

“There is no creative satisfaction at any time,” she cried out passionately. “There is only a queer dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.” Martha Graham

No matter what, the creative process will always fill me up and tear me down. Somedays it’ll be a mountain, and other days a steep slide- both thrilling and intimidating, and the effort will wax and wane. I do love it though. It’s in my makeup and I honestly can’t help myself.

I’m in a revision stage for this new picture book. Once I have some artwork to pitch my agent, I’ll share some of the sketches and color studies! Until then,

-Annie